So most of the times i will find myself complaining about so many things. Some of this things are way beyond me but i will still sit and say this is not okay,this is not right. You know how the saying goes that you are the change you want to see. I still question myself how do i change all this things that anger me, how do you change people to act in a different way, how do i change how people view some things, things i value what i treasure what i believe in how do i change that?
Hasn't August been a darling so far? Last year I had on my bucket list to hike Mt. Kenya.. Outrageous? I don't think so. Well that has not happened yet to be clear its not happening in the next few months either . I had visited Naro Moru last year and I have to admit it has one of the most breath taking sunrise maybe part of the reason I thought I really wanted to go up the mountain. You know how much you get psyched up once you see what people have achieved and you are thinking I could do this too. I saw the flags people had signed once they got to Lenana Peak and I thought this would be fun, something I'd want to do with my closest circle of friends.
So just this past weekend I went down to Namanga another place I thought I would just fall in love with and marry...well that is a bit exaggerated but you understand I really fell in love with the whole idea of skipping the busy city lie for a few hours. Since the beginning of time people strive to become number one. For as long as i remember everyone works hard to beat others and be number one. Cain killed Abel because he thought he was being treated better, some athletes will use drugs to enhance performance so they can win. Some will spend endless nights in the library to be number one. People will do anything to just get at the top and get rid of competition. Surprisingly the world is changing the rules of the game are changing. It’s like reverse of everything.
Be careful not to be to honest because even the straight trees get chopped off first, the first time i read this i felt like i was being told to get rid of my innocence. Then again growing up all i was taught was honesty is the best policy,that you should always be true to yourself and others. What i grew up knowing is now different. I had to learn that change is the only constant. When i was a little younger than i am now:-) all i wanted was to grow up, i know this is probably everyone's story, don't get me wrong my childhood was great. I would go on and on about my escapades with my brothers but that i will leave for another day. All i thought of growing up is being able to do things your own way and no questions were asked. Who didn't want that?
All along i have known that my greatest fear was to lose, i am very competitive, so i am talking on losing on anything will break me ,be it to lose in my school work, my ambitions,losing on love,friendship. I am the kind of person who will always give 100% in anything i believe in.
My life has been a roller coaster of emotions from love, laughter, anger ,pain name it all,but i learned that sometimes losing is just a stage of growth. Letting go is never a sign of weakness.That has been one lesson. I had lost my identity in all this confusion, trusting the same things that broke me felt like relieving a past that i shut down. I felt like i was feeding on the same poison that almost killed me. I was chocking on the promises that failed me. I was drowning in the innocence that i held on to. It has been a struggle but i got up eventually. |
A young lady with big dreams, filled with hope, lover of life,accepting what i can change and building me as a brand
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September 2015
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