How fast time moves is surprising… just the other day I was trying to write resolutions down. Though to be honest, I stopped at the first word of the sentence. I thought this year should be different. I should not dictate what I want to achieve all in the excitement of wanting and really praying for a different year.
At the back of my mind I cried silently that if I had a repeat of 2014 I would be toast, damaged goods. My life would literally be over. I hated 90% of that year it made me wish I slept through some days, I cursed most of them. I have never been so weak, so broken. What I felt at that point was the worst feeling ever.
I would have wanted to erase so many memories. A time like this back then I had given up, I wanted to shut out everything, and I wanted to shut out everyone. I did not want to care; I did not want to feel anymore. It was too much work but I thank God I dint. So now I am here a whole year later. It’s all different, a happier spirit, a lady who has discovered herself in so many ways. Discovered what true love is, what true friendship is, what abilities I have, what life is all about. I have discovered a whole lot.
I know it was worthwhile, all those tears, all that anger, all those mixed emotions were worth it. Not that I would ever go back to that me but I have learnt every minute was worth it because I know what I need I know what I want I knew what I can handle and I know I have been doing a good job so far.
I have a story, I have shared a story, I know it won’t be a case of history on repeat because I am wiser, I now notice what I was too blind to see. I now hear what I was too deaf to hear, I now trust what I doubted I am a new being.
Stay fly.
At the back of my mind I cried silently that if I had a repeat of 2014 I would be toast, damaged goods. My life would literally be over. I hated 90% of that year it made me wish I slept through some days, I cursed most of them. I have never been so weak, so broken. What I felt at that point was the worst feeling ever.
I would have wanted to erase so many memories. A time like this back then I had given up, I wanted to shut out everything, and I wanted to shut out everyone. I did not want to care; I did not want to feel anymore. It was too much work but I thank God I dint. So now I am here a whole year later. It’s all different, a happier spirit, a lady who has discovered herself in so many ways. Discovered what true love is, what true friendship is, what abilities I have, what life is all about. I have discovered a whole lot.
I know it was worthwhile, all those tears, all that anger, all those mixed emotions were worth it. Not that I would ever go back to that me but I have learnt every minute was worth it because I know what I need I know what I want I knew what I can handle and I know I have been doing a good job so far.
I have a story, I have shared a story, I know it won’t be a case of history on repeat because I am wiser, I now notice what I was too blind to see. I now hear what I was too deaf to hear, I now trust what I doubted I am a new being.
Stay fly.